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Thursday, February 26, 2009

Thursday Teeter

1. Wobble back and forth, walking unsteadily, stuttering when talking... these are signs of anxiety. And I had an attack today. This is not why I am thankful, but thankful nonetheless that it stopped. And I am fine now.

2. I never really had the conscience or feel guilt for any of escapades I am doing and have done. In a way, I feel I am a stronger person, far from who I am years back.

3. But today, officially breaking up with my serious boyfriend, I feel emptiness inside. I think I have found (now) the person who I can trust with my life. (Something to be thankful for realizing)...

4. Although not thankful for finding out and feeling it now that he already decided that he wanted to go with the "other girl". The Catholic girl, the goody good bee stinging sweet girl. Wait, hold on, I am the other girl in this relationship. now, I finally admitted here in my blog (and maybe to myself) that this is how complicated things really are. And i can't fight for him.

5. So, no. 4 and 5 should be something to be thankful for, but they are not. These are the 2 things I am unthankful for and my mind is simply blank right now. I can't think. I don't know what to do. And being helpless is simply not me. Oh, hold on, at least Mr. Regatta is here with me (4) and (5) he doesn't have any other girl (that I know of).